The idea of manhood has been circulating throughout society for a long period of time, even in the beginning of ages. Accordingly, the ideal man differs from one place to another. In the Philippines, for instance, the ideal man is shaped by Spanish religious teachings and other cultural practices and traditions. But throughout the years, there have been a lot of progressions on society, making changes to the roles of a man and a woman.
In the Philippines, many people say that men should be stronger than women (men should not cry instead they must be brave and courageous), have more money and more aggressive than women. They should be the one who should work for the family. In other words “breadwinner”. In this generation, the perception to the idea of manliness has changed. The fear to express a man’s emotion has been lessened, as in this generation has a change from the last generation.
When I was in Philippines, I grew up with small boys ages 3 to 5 years old. I witnessed how my boy playmates’ parents would strictly let them play with toys for boys. At that time, whenever parents saw their boys play with dolls, they would immediately conclude that they were gays. Boys should not wear ought colored clothes, else, they would also be suspected as gays. Another thing, that I had observed in the Philippines, especially in bus, train, or Jeepney, a man should give the seat to a woman regardless of how tired he was.
This kind of culture in the Philippines is very toxic, I pity some old man that are giving seat to teenager or just an adult woman when in fact old man should be also treated with care. Another toxic thing is that, if you want to be treated as a man you should be the one who will carry things for a woman even if you are also tired. When it comes to job, men are given higher and difficult position than women because they are treated as superior. As women it seems to be such a piteous idea, it is there in the fact that men should carry all the struggles and hard work. These are just a few examples of how gender awareness is perceived during this time.
There is one thong I noticed that is common from the idea of manliness among different cultures: “Feminine” qualities are undervalued and/or culturally unacceptable. There are qualities that culture undervalues if a man possesses it. The thing is, it is only our culture that dictates that these qualities are feminine and I believe these qualities shouldn’t be called like that. One of those are emotions. If a man were to express their emotions, they would be seen as a weakling. Because of that, men would be suppressing their feelings, and it might cause emotional and psychological problems. But in this generation, this quality is not being considered as being a feminine quality anymore, and that’s a good thing.
In conclusion, I believe that society has warped the true meaning of being a man. It’s not about how well you can handle alcohol or being able to lift a 109kg-barbell, it’s about what truly lies in your heart. I also believe that the society is constantly changing, so the ideal image of a man might change in the future.
Garcia, Kimberlie
Aujero, Ayevie Kaye
The Idea of Manliness in the Philippine Context 